Myrna has been working on the Antlers Housekeeping staff for 5 years and like the rest of the crew, goes about her business everyday without anything to write home about really.  This was not one of those days.     

She’s a small girl, I would consider her almost petite, and very soft spoken.  We could have taken bets that the deafening scream did not resonate from her. Did I mention that she is zoophobic (the fear of animals)? The Antlers is a pet friendly lodging establishment and she is never scheduled to service rooms when a dog or cat checks-in and brings their owner.     

Rob should have told Darci, who should have told Gladys, who should have told Myrna why the guest in 524 moved to 604.  Suspecting no surprises, Myrna and Ramona arrived to do their duties after the radio call.     

Poor thing….She was stripping the sheets of the hide-a-way bed and when she pulled them off, a little fury Marmot lunged out of the ball of sheets and directly at her.  Its front paws got stuck up in the large pocket of the smock she was wearing.  One claw got tangled up in the material while the other three little legs thrashed about ripping at her clothing.  Hence, the scream.     

When I got there with the cage trap to catch the bear cub, she was lying in the corridor with a cool compress on her forehead.  I stepped around all the others that were trying to compose her.  I poked my head into 524 and turned back around and asked “Has anyone seen a bear in this room?”     

I never saw the little pest, but I was sure now that it was cowering somewhere in the condominium.  No need to interview Myrna on the validity of  its presence.  I set the trap with a carrot donated by Katie and left the area.     

I don’t particularly like animal surprises either, so without admitting it,  I commandeered an army to check the status of the animal trapping.  It was now our job to safely entrap the intruder and relocate it to a place where he could be free to raise a family of its own.  It had been hours and myself, Darci, Amy and Randi went to check on the progress.     

We opened the door and the four of us, looking like Larry, Curly, Moe (and Shemp), poked only our heads into the unit.  Darci went in first and the rest of us followed.  You would have thought it was the introduction of a new infant. “Ahhhhhhhh.  He is Sooo Cute.  Ohhhh. Look at him.  Look at those sad eyes.”  Then he hissed.     

There he was, resting comfortably in the confines of his new prison cell.  He was under arrest for breaking and entering and the damage he had done to a private residence without a permit.  The carpet had been ripped back at all the doorways, pictures were knocked ajar, wooden blinds had been eaten and screen doors torn.     

We never figured how the little marmot got into the unit, but we were all happy it wasn’t a bear.  Myrna was fine after a bit of a rest and some therapy.  She actually got a new smock and went right back to work.  The guests that were “inconvenienced” were fine after our apologies and actually stayed an additional night. Tom, the Antlers Preservation Manager, took our little bundle of joy home with him and found a nice place in the forest where, as rumor has it, he found a girlfriend and they are homesteading somewhere above Minturn.     

……..As I have mentioned, it’s October and things are relatively quiet around here.  Because there is a lack of continuing excitement, I thought I would go back in time a bit…….     

I was on call this particular evening in January of 2003.  It was 10:30 pm or there abouts, and a knock on my door.  No, let me clarify.  It was a pounding on my door, as if the whole thing would come crashing down if I didn’t answer in seconds.     

I was in my Big Labowski Robe and hurried to the door to see what in the world I had done to make someone so mad at me.  It was Ben from the front desk and his eyes were as big as saucers and panicked.     

“The pool’s on fire!  The pool’s on fire!”……….