“As the Antlers Turn”………20

Here is a story of a beautiful couple.  Bound and determined to have fun.

It was Friday night at 11:30 when I received the call.  She had dialed the Antlers version of 911 and that ring comes right to my cell phone.  With a bit of urgency in her voice I heard  “My husband is locked out on the balcony”

That said, my first thought was….”Ohhh mannnn……..”

She told me what unit to report to and I said “It will be a few minutes, but I’ll be there as quickly as I can”.

“Please hurry.  He’s in his underwear and the thermometer says 15 degrees”.  I picked up the pace and when I got to the front door she was standing outside waiting for me.

“My key doesn’t work” she says.  I tried mine.

“That’s interesting, my key doesn’t work either and it’s because the dead bolt is on”.

I had to ask “Who locked the deadbolt?”

“I did” she said.

“But you’re out here with me” I said.

“Well then he must have” she said.

At this point I surmise that alcohol could be a factor.  I looked away from her so as not to be caught laughing and sending the wrong message. After a few seconds of gibberish I looked up and said, “I need to go back to the office, open up the safe and get the deadbolt over-ride key. You stand right here and promise not to move.  You OK with that?

She looked back at me and said “Could you get my husband a blanket?  I’m sure he’s freezing his little tush off, and hurry because I need to tinkle”.

When I return to the staging area with keys and a blanket, low and behold, he is standing there with his wife.  “Are you the fella that’s locked out on the balcony?”

“Not any more.  Now I’m just locked out of our condo and I could use that blanket because I am still in my underwear.”  Then he laughed.

My new friend had taken it upon himself to rescue everyone trapped on a balcony that night.  He jumped the gate into the snow on the other side.  Climbed down the rock wall that separated the garden and the bike path and nonchalantly walked around the building in his bare feet.  “What an adventure and this is only our second day here”  he said to me.

Of course now it’s time for “Murphy’s Law“.  I try the dead bolt over ride key and it just spins in a circle.  She looks at me with a quizzical kind of look and says ‘Maybe it’s the wrong key?” and then she laughed.

I say “It’s the right key, I think the lock assembly is bad. We’re going to have to climb through a window or use the balcony door to get in.”

“Well we know the balcony door isn’t an option” he said, and the couple started laughing hysterical.  All I’m thinking is this patient lady has not mentioned another word about using the bathroom.  For that, I felt a sense of relief.  They really were having a good time with the string of events and my only concern was climbing through the kitchen window.

It opened but I have another self revelation that I’m to old, fat and ugly to get to the other side.

I need a short, athletic person to jump six inches up and through.  Thank God Amy was at the front desk!  She did a “Circus O’Lea Thing”, right up and in.  Emergency over.

Our fun loving, happy guests welcome themselves back to their warm condominium…..turn back to us….and with obvious appreciation………say…….”You guys want a glass of wine?”


Posted in As the Antlers Turns and tagged .